What Now?

I can't bring myself to say "I'm sorry"
Because this happens every time
I can't say a thing without it blowing up
Straight into my face
I don't even know
Which words I meant
And which I didn't
My pride holds back my begging apology
Which you wouldn't take if I paid you
Can you tell me in truth
That you despise me so?
When we've been so close
So happy and laughing at each other
Just because I don't understand you
I say what anyone else would
I speak the words of a cold-hearted person
And I wish that I could pull them back
Swallowing them and never allowing them escape
Because whether you accept it
Or deny me further
I apologize to you, my friend
<3